Erica Sanderz (ericasanderz) wrote,
Erica Sanderz

They Say I Won't Remember These Hours

"I don't quite know how to say how I feel."

I'm just laying here because laying in my dark bedroom is the least likely thing to trigger an attack of intense vomiting. It helps I haven't bothered to eat anything for many hours. Of course I puked up everything I did eat earlier in the day. I know I should be heading to the ER as I was too stubborn to call the vomiting clinic today. I know. I know. I know!! I just didn't have it in me to deal with that and that nurse today. I just couldn't bare the thought of it.

I remember when I use to be so strong but right now I can't even fake it. I'm exhausted. Everything hurts. I want to cry but I'm pretty sure I shouldn't waste what fluid I have.

This pregnancy has taught me so much. I had no idea it could be this hard. I had no idea I'd spend months thinking I was crazy, praying for the puking to stop. Wondering why this is happening.

The tiny little life inside of me is the only thing that keeps me fighting to get through everyday. I guess it's the Mom in me. I love the little kicks and just knowing soon I'll get to meet the little beast that is taking everything I am. I guess it's true being a mom means you would die to save your baby.

Tags: via ljapp
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